I’m back!

Hi all,

A lot has been happening since my last post and I would like to offer my sincere apology for not being consistent. No excuse whatsoever. 

This is just a hello post and a quick update to tell you all that hashtagblessed will now contain more food for thought. But will still be lighthearted of course. Some posts maybe heavier in the future but it is because I’ll be writing something that I am passionate about and would love to share it with you. I get a lot from writing the blog and can only hope that you get something from it too.

Next post is almost out. Stay tuned and watch this space! 

P.s. Hope you like the new layout 

T

Be challenged

A very BIG apology with capital b for the absence of posts in the past 2 weeks. I do have excuses and they involve work (of course) so let’s just leave it at that. I hope I haven’t lost any of you and it is nice to see that the views of my blog goes through the roof when I  update a new post so thank you for visiting/reading!

I have recently pondered about friendships (as you do) and how they have influenced so many decisions I made in my life. So we all have friends that will back you up 100% regardless of how silly the decisions you are about to make are and friends that will challenge you and bring out your best. Now I’d like to think that I’m the latter type of friend. And that’s probably why I’d like my friends to challenge me as well. It could be something as simple as telling me why this $48 shampoo I’m about to buy is overrated to explaining to me why they don’t agree with my life choices, for example. I mean who needs shampoo that costs more than $30 a bottle anyway. A true friend should at least raise this very important point, shouldn’t they? I guess I also need a friend to tell me why I don’t need to clear the shelf when things are on special like those 5 foundations I bought when they were on sale or 3 boxes of cereals that were literally 20c off their RRP. Yes, I am a self-confessed marketing victim and fortunately, I do have friends that will stop me from impulse buying, though most attempts were unsuccessful. 

When I say friends that ‘challenge’ me, I also mean friends that will bring out the best in me, the side I didn’t even know existed. I think everyone needs friends that will challenge you in different ways, whether it be intellectually or mentally. Like that friend who says no when everyone else says yes, friend that makes you want to try harder in life, friend who tells you why your way of thinking makes you selfish or friend who tells your fear of insects is irrational. It’s nice to know that your friends and family have your best interest at heart because they care enough to say what they think when most people won’t. 

P.s. Dear friends, if you are reading this and you disagree, please do let me know.

T

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

What I learned in the past week is that obstacles & rough patches in life give you the best opportunity to challenge yourself and how you come out of it on the other side is totally up to you. How you interpret and handle the situation will define who you are. Never forget that you are in control of your life and what doesn’t kill you really make you stronger. The best lemonade is the one with the juiciest lemons! And I’ll stop bombarding you with all my life lessons and give you more of others’ now. Here are a handful of quotes I’d like to share that will hopefully inspire you in some ways!

 

XOX

T

Birthday

It was my birthday last week! And I think birthday and Christmas are ones of those times you will most likely feel grateful for something. Not only for the presents you receive, but also who you have to spend these occasions with. It may sound shallow to say that we only show extra appreciation for our loved ones because we receive something from them. I’ll be the first to admit that birthday is a great reminder of why I should appreciate people around me more. It takes effort to appreciate the little things in your day to day life so a special occasion always remind me to be ever grateful for the relationships I have.

 I don’t feel a sense of gratefulness when I open the present, but I do when I think about the thought and effort that have been put in. I think about how long it would have taken them to come up with the idea, the money they put in, the time they spent to travel somewhere to buy the present, the card they chose and what they wrote in it and so on. I think it’s hard not to expect your loved ones to get you something for your birthday. We think it’s their duties, almost. And I think we lose a great amount of appreciation when we expect someone to do something for us. But the unexpectedness brings the greatest sense of appreciation. Think surprise party, receiving a joined present that 10 of your friends put in or receiving a present from someone you don’t know all that well.

The best presents for me this year were spending it with my close friends that I haven’t seen in ages and knowing that they took a night off their busy schedules to come have dinner with me, receiving unexpected presents from them, being treated to a fancy dinner by the boyfriend’s family, finding out my boyfriend had been taking notes and making a secret present list and knowing I still have all these amazing people in my life every other day of the year. 

Yes I am IN LOVE with the presents I received and they make me one very happy lady. But nothing will ever compare to the feeling of being blessed from knowing that these people in my life, and hopefully yours, did something special for me. I will forever feel grateful that they have me in their thoughts. 

On a related note, we no longer exchange birthday presents in our household but I am incredibly blessed for what my parents have given me. I know that any time of the year, they will randomly buy me something I never knew I needed or something so big I could never repay them back. So a shout out to my mum and dad who give generously and endlessly. And thank you for supplying me with a lifetime stock of toothpaste, hot chocolate, 2-minute noodles and all things edible. I cannot express how lucky I am to have such caring parents. I am spoiled with love.

What will you be grateful for this Christmas? Or what are you grateful for at this very moment? Feel free to share it with me and others by leaving your comment! I’d love to hear!

Here’s a few terrible-quality birthday photos from my phone:

(The boyfriend, me, Josh (@beingkhoi.wordpress.com) and Freya) 

 

(Some of the amazing girls I get to spend my birthday with)

T

Customer Service

 Thank you everyone who has visited my blog! 3 posts so far and we have reached over 100 views. I am well and truly blessed. So let’s get into the topic which I have always wanted to discuss.. ‘Customer Service’

How many of you go shopping and when you get approached by the sales assistants, you would always respond with ‘I’m just browsing’ (and you don’t even look at their face when you say it)? How many times have you gone to check out your groceries or to pay for your items while you’re on the phone or deep in conversation with someone next to you? Yet, you think it is extremely rude when the foreign manicurists chat away in a language you don’t understand while they trim your neglected cuticles?

Truth is, it is impossible to be thoughtful and nice to these service providers all the time because sometimes you just don’t feel it. And after getting asked for the 5th time about how your day is in the most mundane voice you’ve ever heard, you probably just want these people to get out of your way as quickly as they approached you (the rule is usually 10 seconds by the way). So what is my point here? Speaking not on behalf of all sales assistants, waiters, or other kinds of service providers, but from my personal opinion, I think you can get over your feeling of annoyance and the lack of effort in being nice to people that are just trying to do their job (or get through their day). 

Having worked in both hospitality and retail, I am used to rejection, shut down, silence or rude remarks. I don’t really want to know why I didn’t get a reply when I say ‘what are you up to today?’ nor do I understand why you can’t put coins in my hand instead of tossing them on the counter. I’m not whinging, I get it, people sometimes do these things when they don’t mean to. They don’t put the effort into being nice because let’s face it, they don’t think they’re getting anything out of being nice to people who serve them food, put through their groceries at the register, sell them cigarettes or make their pizza. 

But let me tell you, I have had some impressive experiences with customers who made my day by just putting that little bit of effort in to be appreciative and understanding. I did a makeover for a lady who was genuinely interested in my career path and we asked about each other’s lives. I had a lady who was so happy with the products I introduced her and came back to buy more products specifically from me. May I add she waited patiently while I served other customers. Another customer was an elderly lady who always kindly treat me like her own niece every time she comes in. And even gives me pats on the cheeks every time without fail. Whatever that gesture means, I appreciate it. The most recent one was a teenager who was extremely nice and super understanding when I didn’t put through his order right and said that it was totally fine and that he was happy to wait. These are such simple instances that had such big impacts on me. They probably never realised how much I appreciated their gratitude. And I want other service providers to be able to go to work, look forward to making someone’s day and having their days made.

It’s a win-win situation really. You get BETTER service when you are NICER to your sales assistant. Plain and simple. You make their day by being thankful for what they do for you (even though it is their job) and who knows, maybe you will score an extra freebie or two :). I’d like to say also that if you get a bad service, don’t make a judgement in that first few minutes. Who knows what else is going on in that store? Maybe your waiter has just lost someone important so he’s not totally there. Unlikely, but not impossible. If you genuinely get horrible and rude service, be extra nice to them. They’re the ones that need it the most.

Hope you have a different shopping experience from now on. It usually feels like a rejection when the only reply we get is ‘I’m just browsing’ (with a frown) when really, we asked how your day was not ‘what are you doing?’. Next time try saying ‘I’m just browsing but thank you for asking’ with a smile. You will probably make it to the ‘nice’ customer list in the retail book. Happy Christmas Shopping! 

T

Inspiration & Aspiration

I am always inspired by random things I see in life and sometimes I follow through with it and make something out of it. For example, I am obsessed with cooking shows and have always wanted to be a good cook. Then when I had some free time last summer, I went on a crazy phase of cooking and baking everything for hours on my free days. Of course that phase eventually stopped as I got busy with jobs like normal people. Then I was totally inspired by the healthy living & clean eating philosophy and I started boxing 3 days week, spent a fortune on healthy ingredients and gave up drinking and desserts. Now it’s an on and off thing. Another one was when I was told a story about Howard, the Big Issue Vendor who has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair, who I regularly see at work and feed him lunch. He was once stranded as his wheelchair ran out of battery and had to crawl from the main road to his nursing home. It made me feel sick as I felt like no one ever deserve to be in that situation. I now make a point to make his day every time I see him and be as helpful as possible in every way he needs. Of course the things I do do not make up for all the challenging things he experienced in life, that is not my intention.  But I absolutely love it when I make him cry from laughter when we share a good joke. And it makes my day when I make his day and he inspired me to be more thoughtful and not so ignorant, in one way or another. Anyway the point is that I am inspired by simple things in life and sometimes I’m motivated enough to do something about it. And like other normal human beings, most of the times I just don’t.

So what inspires you? What makes you start doing something because you’re so motivated by it? I always wonder if successful people like Jobs, Donald Trump or Richard Branson had a moment where they were really inspired by something and they made it happen. Now I’m not choosing these people as an example because they are financially successful but I think they are outrageously creative and different and they made empires from simply following through with their guts. Well and of course things like dedication, opportunity and financial support etc. that come into play but that’s another story. What I’m getting at is the being inspired part. Whether or not it takes you somewhere, I think it’s important to just let yourself be influenced.

Go to the museum. Read a book with no pictures. People watching. Talk to strangers. Watch a foreign movie. Ask people how their days are going and actually mean it. Drive to a countryside. Ride a horse. Go to a nudist beach. Use the public park. Get on a ferry. Go to the movie alone. Volunteer at your local nursing home. Visit the children’s hospital and play with terminally ill kids. Drive endlessly. Or walk. Ring up your childhood friends. Visit your high school. Or primary school. Call your parents and thank them for.. well everything. The point is whether or not you do all these, it really doesn’t matter what you do. Go out there, do something different, hopefully you are inspired by a stranger you walk into and just enjoy not being so in control all the time. 

Now the aspiration part. I think it’s almost a talent when people turn their inspiration into aspiration. The thinking and being inspired part is easy, but turning it into a goal takes a hell lot of courage, self-esteem and dedication if you ask me. Whether it be quitting your degree (or career) and travel the world or run a marathon to raise money for charity. I admire that people are motivated enough to do something they have dreamt of doing or courageous enough to take on 42 kilometres to help someone else. 

 Therefore, I hope you get inspired doing things you haven’t done, or things you do everyday. I hope you get inspired after reading about something extraordinary and be motivated to do it yourself. I hope you get inspired watching the news about the bushfire and donate your old clothes to people in need. I hope you get inspired after learning about the poverty that exists in the world, and start being more grateful for what you have. I hope you get inspired by a ridiculously difficult croquembouche recipe and decide this is the day you will attempt it. I hope you get inspired by what you have dreamt of doing your whole life and be courageous enough to seek it through. 

I hope you are inspired enough about something and turn it into an aspiration. And once you follow through with it, I hope that it makes your life that little bit more extraordinary because you have achieved something that was once a mere thought in your head.

T 

The Science of Happiness

Have you ever had that moment where you try to come up with what will make your life better and happier? Maybe more money? (Admit it, mine has always been winning a $20 million lotto) Well, it is proven in a study that one of the most significant factors contributing to the overall happiness in your life is HOW MUCH GRATITUDE YOU SHOW. So no, winning a lotto will not make you happy forever. Better quality of life? Maybe. But it will not increase the happiness in your life if you do not appreciate it. It really doesn’t matter if you catch a bus to work, or drive a Porsche, you CAN be happy. And if you’re going to say ‘ Yes, but I would be happier driving a Porsche to work’, then you don’t really get the point. The happiest person on earth doesn’t have the biggest house, the most money or even the smartest brain. They tend to be those we considered living in poverty with only one pair of shoes and they skip every other meal. But they are genuinely happy because they have tremendous gratitude for that only pair of shoes they have and every single bite of the food they eat. Sure they may have terrible quality of life but if they are happier than most of us who have unlimited access to food and all sorts of luxury, then clearly we are not doing it (or thinking) right. 

 And apart from being thankful for what you have, ‘gratitude’ that we refer to in this case, according to (my macbook’s) dictionary, is “readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness“. Yes, … readiness to return the kindness. It was found in the same study that people were genuinely happier when they performed simple acts or kindness such as tipping $40 after getting a takeaway, giving said takeaway to the homeless, helping someone carry their groceries, and complimenting strangers. Participants were significantly happier than when they first arrived, and interestingly, the grumpier they were when they arrived, the happier they were when they left. As such, after you do something that you know will obviously make someone’s day, it makes you feel bigger and better about yourself, hence it increases your happiness. I love that feeling after offering my seat to an elderly who needed it and he thanked me like I just saved their life or complimenting the cashier who had been working for 7 hours and her eyes lit up with happiness. I crave this feeling the same way a fat kid loves cake. It makes my whole day when I can find a way to do something nice for someone. And I could die every time I see random acts of kindness on the streets, it gives me a sense of joy knowing people do care about strangers. When you’re nice to others, it may not change the world, but it will certainly change THEIR world. 

 I hope you get a chance to stop and look at your life once in a while and feel extremely happy you still have certain things in your life. You can be happier with everything in your life being the same if you can look at it from a different angle. Also, next time you go out, do yourself a favour and tip someone more than 10% of your bill or hold an elderly’s hand while she crosses the road because it will probably make your day as much as theirs. And I hope it gives you the same happy feeling I get.

T

Note: To watch a video about the study referred to in this post, click here.

Why hashtagblessed?

Believe it or not, I re-wrote this first post 4 times already. I just want it to capture exactly what my blog is about. But my blog is not about one specific thing and it is impossible to cover the essence of it in one post. So hopefully you’ll get the gist of it as I write more posts and I would love to hear your feedbacks and read your comments. Whether you perceive this to be a feel-good blog a self-help type of thing or a journal, I hope it leaves you thinking and feeling blessed in some ways.

I’ll start with the question ‘why’ hashtagblessed (i.e. #blessed). Apart from the fact that ‘blessed’ was already taken, I want this blog to be a constant reminder of why I should be grateful for what I have and thankful for having it so easy in life. Now I’m not saying my life is wonderful and in no way am I bragging about anything I have ever done or accomplished in my life. It’s about appreciating the hard things in life, the losses, the failures and every obstacle because they make the greatest lessons and most of the time they define who you are. I’m no expert at how to live your life to the fullest, I’m not Dalai Lama (but maybe his advocate) and I never finish that book ‘The Secret’ so what I’m writing on here will be based on my perspective and my take on things.

Essentially I simply don’t want to spend half my life being grumpy because the crossing light doesn’t turn green quickly enough, because someone ate my lunch and I’m hungry or because someone is rude to me because they have had a rough day. We have the ability to decide what has meaning and what hasn’t. So I choose today to do so and on that note, I hope you have a great week ahead and that you would think about this post next time you blame the weather for ruining your plan or the barista for the warm coffee.

T